Tonight is election results night! So in York Vision’s role as the paper of scrutiny and fairness, our music editors have been unleashed on EVERY candidate’s answer to the question “what would be your campaign theme song?”.

The song choices were anonymised to avoid bias – however we decided to add the names to make it more fun for our readers. Here’s what our editors had to say about each song:

We Are Family – Sister Sledge: (Requested by Patrick O’Donnell) Sister Sledge were definitely an underrated powerhouse in disco, we’re off to a strong start here!

Take A Chance on Me – ABBA: (Requested by Alessandra and Preet) A staple of house parties up and down the nation, you can’t go wrong with ABBA.

The Lord of The Rings (Rohan Suite) – Howard Shore: (Requested by Juné Tiamatakorn) Adventurous choice… it might be difficult to imagine someone walking on stage to it, but Shore’s composition is fantastic nonetheless.

Only The Young – Taylor Swift: (Requested by Rebecca Wilcockson) T-Swift’s most political song by far (although that doesn’t take much). I’m still waiting for the violent youth revolution this track promises.

Money, Money, Money – ABBA: (Requested by Kelly Balmer) Again, ABBA’s incredible variety means there’s a song for every occasion – this being the best description of working life since Das Kapital.

Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen (x3): (Requested by Elliott Bellamy, Matt and Dan, and Your Babe Rokas) If one candidate had chosen this, I’d be tempted to let them off – but the fact that three candidates went for a song that reminds me of Year 6 graduation might show a lack of creativity!

Things Can Only Get Better – D:Ream: (Requested by Nicholas Gardner) Tony Blair might have gotten to this one first, but it’s still an irreverent disco tune!

Respect – Aretha Franklin: (Requested by Rebecca and Imogen) I can’t bring myself to be mean about Aretha Franklin. Good song.

Rules – Doja Cat: (Requested by Daian Akand) The line “Bitch I’m fuckin reptilian” doesn’t do much to quell rumours that YUSU candidates are, in fact, lizards. 

We’re All In This Together – HSM Cast: (Requested by Jasmine Moody) I’m too distracted by the fact that Corbin Bleu’s Wikipedia page is available in 217 languages to give this a proper review. Sure, why not?

My Number – Tegan & Sara: (Requested by Alex Potts) Definitely more emotive than many of the others on this list, but I’m a fan of this one to be honest. I’m also interested to see how koalas figure in this person’s campaign.

We Built This City – Starship: (Requested by Kyle Siwek) Dad Rock doesn’t often get a shoutout at university, so kudos to this candidate for being brave enough to choose one of the cheesiest anthems of the last 50 years.

Funky Fanfare – Keith Mansfield: (Requested by Dan Taylor) Cut up by the late, great MF DOOM (and Danger Mouse), I can see it being in a Rocky-esque montage of candidates preparing for interview night and putting up soggy cardboard around campus. Good choice.

Take Care of You – Ella Henderson: (Requested by Franki Riley) I genuinely have nothing to say about this one, other than that I forgot what it sounded like immediately after I sat through it.

Feel It Still – Portugal. The Man: (Requested by Pierrick Roger) Did you listen to this on repeat for about two months when it first came out? I didn’t, because I have taste. But a guy I sat next to in sixth form did. The song now brings me back to trying to cry quietly over history notes. 

Be Alright – Ariana Grande: (Requested by Abby Pullen) I had to scroll through a page of other songs with the same name to find this on Spotify. Quite the achievement for an artist with more than 21 billion streams… there’s a reason for it.

Houstonfornication – Travis Scott: (Requested by Jordan Thomas) Make the first part of this student focused and you’re going to be the first out.

I’ll Make a Man Out of You – Donny Osmond & Mulan Cast: (Requested by Harleen Dhillon) I’m looking forward to the YUSU-mandated workouts to vanquish Lancaster at the next Roses.  

Who Said – Hannah Montana: (Requested by James Harrison) Who said you can’t be superman? YUSU By-Laws – they will quell any hopes and dreams you have. Facts don’t care about your feelings. 

The Business – Tiesto: (Requested by Carla Dixon) If we really want to get down to business here, you need to pick a better song. Maybe you’re just a candidate of few words, but this song (and perhaps your manifesto?) needs more. 

Captain of Israel’s Host – Charles Wesley: This honestly might have been the last thing I expected out of a YUSU campaign. This candidate gains points for subverting expectations, but also loses some for not choosing one of the primary school classics like He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands. Fascinating and memorable choice by this candidate.

Rebel Rebel – David Bowie: (Requested by Charlotte Ingrey) Clearly someone was going to pick a Bowie track, but you could have been more of a rebel with your choice. 

Wait A Minute – HUGE Campaign: (Requested by Hugh Campkin) Really messing up our plan of us judging these anonymous here, Hugh.

Get Up – T-Pain: (Requested by Aryan Shetty and Akshaaye Anand) This has more autotune than a Youtuber’s debut single. Get up, and get out.

I Won’t Back Down – Tom Petty: (Requested by Luke Luxson) It’s a classic but also a classic line until they inevitably back down. Let’s see what happens this time around.

More Than A Woman – Bee Gees: (Requested by Izzy Andrews) Everyone chooses the Bee Gees at some point to make their parents happy.

You’re The Best – Joe Esposito: (Requested by Matt Best) Wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off. The work of a YUSU Officer may seem monotonous, but it actually endows you with excellent knowledge of karate. Well, maybe not, but this song will make you feel like it does.

Freedom – Beyoncé ft. Kendrick Lamar: (Requested by Ish Bajwala and Vani Mahajan) No one can argue with queen B and “a winner can’t quit on themselves” is definitely a mantra to live by… if you win that is. 

Do Me A Favour – Arctic Monkeys: (Requested by Matt Johnstone) Perhaps “fuck off” might be too kind, it’s a bold breakup energy to take to YUSU.

Right Now – Confetti: (Requested by Catherine Brislane) This track would absolutely belong in the Camp Rock 3 movie we’ve all been waiting for. Love some “ooohhh”’s and acoustic guitar with my cheese. 

…Baby One More Time – Britney Spears: #freebritney. But on another note, a bit too sexy don’t you think YUSU? Or maybe not enough. 

Police Academy March (Theme from Police Academy) – Robert Folk: (Requested by Luke Mason) Oh dear, are you going to discipline me? #ACAB

Something To Believe In – Jane Holiday: (Requested by Eleanor Shaw) A bop or a flop? I’m definitely undecided and clearly need another candidate to believe in.

Bare Necessities – Phil Harris & Bruce Reithermann: (Requested by Victoria and Rowan) Or, as YUSU calls it, a generous Grant.

I’ll Be There For You (Theme from FRIENDS) – The Rembrandts: (Requested by Carly Precious)
This is setting unrealistic expectations for the Sabbs. No, you won’t be friends – you will not be popping into one another’s flat saying ‘How You Doin’?’. You will have a forced amicable relationship and you will be thankful you have that. 

Let’s Push Things Forward – The Streets: (Requested by Alex Thompson) Twist it, bop it, push it. I’m going to be honest, I entered some kind of other realm listening to this and maybe that’s what this candidate will do.

The Future Is Female – Madame Gandhi: (Requested by Thea Leeming) It will be very awkward if all the Sabb positions are won by male candidates.