Last year, I slightly unwisely decided to drink every sabb cocktail. The night is now only a blurry recollection, stored at the back of my mind like a film shot through a vaseline lens.

But now we have no RKC to aid us in our sorrows-drowning / career choices, YUSU has released to York Vision our incumbent sabbs’ cocktails of choice. Here’s how you can make them at home.

The Patrick O’Donnell AKA The St.Patrick (same ingredients as a Japanese Slipper apparently!):

  • 30 ml melon liqueur (Midori)
  • 30 ml Orange liqueur (Cointreau)
  • 30 ml lemon juice (fresh)
  • Garnish: honeydew melon slice

This drink screams boujie. It’s the kind of cocktail a Newcastle hen-do would be sipping through a non-penis straw.

The Carly Precious – a Citrus Peach Cooler

  • The juice of one lemon
  • The juice of one lime
  • Peach nectar
  • Cloudy lemonade
  • with decoration of strawberry sliced and mint (only if feeling fancy)
  •  to make it alcoholic add a shot of vodka or leave as is

Refreshing, calm, and with a bright outlook towards the summer, after weeks of election coverage this is a drink I will be adding to vodka, not the other way around, thank you YUSU.

The Maddi Cannell – a Sunrise

  • 2 shots (or lids) of Amaretto
  • 3 ounces of orange juice
  • Crushed ice
  • 3 ounces club soda / diet lemonade 
  • “Dash” of vodka 
  • “Dash” of grenadine

Christ, for anyone who remembers the apocalyptic alcohol level of Maddi Cannell’s cocktail last year, we can only assume that “dash” is simply a sports pun. Beware of the drink – it sure as hell can bite.

The Matt Johnstone – a Mojito

  • 2 shots of white rum
  • Juice of one lime
  • Small handful of mint leaves
  • 1 tsp of granulated sugar
  • Soda Water

You would have thought the russet beard would be a hint towards a winter warmer, or at least a flagon of mead – but no. I’ll be sipping this, dreaming of beach umbrellas and sun sparkled sea. Somewhere so bursting with radiance that even YUSU can’t break its spell.

The Vacant – make your own!
 We’ll be inviting students to submit photos of their own cocktails/mocktails. What would your perfect Student Activities Officer have as their ingredients? 

Bonus points for a red and white striped drink. Equally an empty glass, or the broken glass shards of one you have just thrown against the wall in blind, addled rage.